“Once Upon a Time”, “Mirror, Mirror”, “Grimm”, “Snow White and the Huntsman”, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter!” Why? Why do all of these movies and shows exist? Is the bowl of ideas used to generate formulaic movies so empty that Hollywood had to turn to our childhood fairy tales?

I’m beginning to hate the phrase “with a twist” because it’s used to justify mutilating classic stories into ridiculous movies. Just because it’s retold “with a twist” doesn’t necessarily mean it would be good or original, it’ll just be twisted.

I’ve been putting up with this revival for the past two years. “Once Upon a Time” got itself a pretty good fan base, and I can understand why. But the last straw came when I saw the trailer for the upcoming 2013 action/adventure: “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton. Well done, Hollywood, when are you making the Three Little Pigs into a movie?

We’re still reeling from the vampire craze, and we’re currently in the doomsday mode with shows like “The Walking Dead” and “Revolution.” Apocalypse is a better theme than fairy tales because it can be more original, and there’s only so much that can be done with fairy tales while staying true to them.

And then there’s the way these movies are made, where the characters in pre-industrial settings use advanced weapons from this century or all the girls wear pants because they’re “not traditional girls” or whatever. For example, “Hansel and Gretel” which is set in the 14th century but features automated weapons that use bullets and gunpowder. I get how “Van Helsing” used a crossbow-like machine that shot wooden stakes, but using an actual WWII-era machine gun is just ridiculous. If they’re going to use modern props, why not just make the entire setting modern instead of limiting themselves?

Not to say there aren’t good fairy tale-based movies and shows. “Willow” and “The Princess Bride” are classics, but only because they embrace the fact that they’re fairy tales, not try to suppress it. I have nothing against fairy tale-type movies once in awhile. There was “Van Helsing” with Hugh Jackman and “The Brothers Grimm” with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon a few years back, “Enchanted” with Amy Adams, and then there are the “Shrek” movies, but five of these in one year?

These movies don’t even look good, especially ” Hansel and Gretel.” I know, you’re not supposed to judge by the trailer, but it looks absolutely ridiculous, predictable, and boring. It doesn’t even seem to be one of those movies made for the mindless masses who need multiple explosions to get some kind of reaction.

Hollywood either needs to find a better way to spin the fairy tales or stop the trend altogether. These are not good movies. Go play with zombies.