Pop star Kelly Clarkson once expressed her expectations for a man through her song “Walk Away.”

Now, we’re only in high school, so actually expecting someone to live, breathe, and die for you may be a bit extreme, but that doesn’t mean that Clarkson’s lyrics don’t ring some truth to them. We should expect a significant other — whether you’re a man or a woman — to fight for us, and care for us but we don’t deserve someone who runs and hides.

The problem these days is that a lot of people settle for a lot less than they deserve and think it’s okay when in reality, it’s not.

We need to make a vow to ourselves that we will not be anyone’s half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes, so we shouldn’t allow anyone to waste our time.

It’s okay to have expectations but we need to realize when these expectations are not being met, and then move on to better ourselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with respecting yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer allows you to grow as a person, or makes you happy.

As Gretchen said in her column, happiness can be achieved on your own, but there’s nothing wrong having a special someone to make you happy. The key thing is that, that person should be making you happy, and not upset. Whenever one of my friends is having a boy problem and they’re weighing the pros and cons, I always ask them, “well, do you feel like you’re happier when you’re with him or thinking about him, or do you feel like you’re constantly stressing out and upsetting yourself over him?”

If your answer is the latter, then you should respect yourself enough to let that person go.

I’ve put together a few basic rules to follow, to ensure self respect and happiness.

First, there should be no games. Find someone who is willing to be serious and straightforward, because as I expressed in a previous column, The Game is annoying! Dating, in a sense, is a trial period. You date to find out your likes and dislikes, and I think it’s safe to assume that when someone is playing games and toying with your emotions, it’s confusing and frustrating, and who wants that? So if someone can’t be straightforward in the beginning stages of a potential relationship, how can you expect them to be honest and straightforward once you’ve actually established yourselves as a couple? Also, when dating, it’s usually an agreement between two people. Not three or four. Having competition is childish, and in most cases, a turn off. You should never have to compete for someone’s attention, because that’s demeaning and unhealthy. If someone is interested in you, they should be interested in you and only you.

Disclaimer: if you’ve only been on one date with someone and you aren’t anything serious yet, it’s okay to date and explore and find out what you like. But before you’re scheduling a date with a different person every weekend, be sure that the other person knows where the two of you stand, so that feelings aren’t hurt. Communication is key.

As Stephen Chbosky so perfectly put it in his book “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” we really do accept the love we think we deserve, but what we need to realize is that we all deserve something great. Being young and in love is supposed to be fun and exhilarating, not stressful and disappointing. My philosophy has always been this: it shouldn’t be hard in the beginning. The beginning stages of a relationship should be carefree, exciting, and fun. If you two have only been talking for a few months, and you’ve already had more arguments than you can remember, that’s not a very good sign. Keep it light. In his hit country song “Lovin’ You Is Fun,” Easton Corbin says it all:

We all deserve a gratifying love where we are being put first, and having a good time with our significant other. Be confident in the fact that you are worth being treated with respect and appreciation, and that you deserve a healthy relationship.

Personally, it took me a long time to see myself in a healthier perspective and that I was worth more than being treated like I was disposable.

After guys would tell me that they were “too busy” to hangout with me, not making an effort to make plans with me, bailing on me last minute, and abandoning me at music festivals where I could have potentially been kidnapped and killed, I finally asked myself why I was continuing to put up with guys who fell short of my standards. I realized that I didn’t have an answer; I was simply so used to being treated so carelessly that I was used to it. It finally took being treated the way I’m supposed to be treated to open my eyes up to what I deserve — and to what everyone deserves.

The bottom line is that your significant other should be making an effort to make you happy, and here’s how:

They should want to make plans with you. If you’re constantly the one suggesting that the two of you should have a movie date, then something’s wrong. A relationship is a two way street.

Random surprises are always a good thing, and they are to be expected. If this means spending some extra money to surprise your boo with Starbucks in the morning, then so be it. Make sure that they feel appreciated.

Guys – be a gentleman. The only people who say that chivalry is dead are those who haven’t experienced it or don’t feel like making an effort to show it. Hold the door open, be cheesy and carry your lover over puddles, take as many selfies as she/he wants to take with you. Do something to prove that you value the person you’re with, and I guarantee you that you’ll get a positive response.

Love the family, and the family will love you. Seriously. Play with the little siblings, compliment the mom’s cooking, guys — ask the dad what time to have his little girl home by, and chat with him about sports. If you’re seen in a positive light by the family, then that’ll gain you infinite points with your significant other.

Show interest. Whether the object of your affection is an athlete, a mathlete, a writer, a poet, or the captain of the chess team, you should show an interest in what they are doing. Trust me, it won’t go unnoticed if you ask questions about their latest basketball tournament or take the time out of your day to read and talk to them about their articles. It will make them feel like what they’re doing matters to you, and above all, it will show that you actually care.

Put him/her first. This doesn’t mean that your significant other has to consume your life. You should always make time to hang out with your friends and spend quality time with your family, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take an hour out of your day to go and make a quick stop at their house just to ask how their day went. Things like that — though they may seem small — gain you major brownie points.

Give them space. While putting them first is something that you should do, you should also respect that they have a life outside of the relationship. This means that you shouldn’t be blowing up their phone and texting them 50 times if they don’t reply to your call, and understand when they want to have a night out with their guys/girls. Trust is key, and nothing screams “I don’t trust you” like freaking out every time they’ve “liked” someone else’s picture on Instagram.

I’m sure that there a lot of girls out there who are reading this and thinking that I’m referring to only the guys out there, and yes, I do believe that guys should be gentlemen to us and treat us the way we are deserved to be treated (like princesses) but that doesn’t mean that we get to take advantage of their, or anyone’s, kindness. Like I said before, a relationship is a two way street, so if you want someone to be treating you like you’re special, you have to do the same thing for them.

It’s okay to have expectations and standards and to abide by them, but it’s not okay when you’re the only one who’s being treated like royalty. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, so if your partner is treating you like you’re special, be sure that you do the same for them.

We’ve all seen those couples in the mall where the girl is walking a few feet in front of the guy, and he’s following her around and carrying her bags like a helpless puppy. That’s called taking advantage, and that’s wrong.

It goes back to what we learned in Kindergarten: treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s good to have these expectations, but only if you’re returning the favor. Someone will only want to keep you in their life if you show that you want to stay there, so show it.