I have been on planet earth for a little over eighteen years and I can confidently say that I have never fulfilled a New Year’s resolution. While I realize that for about seven of those years I probably did not know what a New Year’s resolution is, I stand by the opinion that they are overdone, unproductive, mentally draining and usually unrealistic.

Setting goals is a good skill to have, and when done correctly, something anyone can benefit from. However, I think that American culture has turned a wholesome tradition of bettering oneself into a toxic, profitable ordeal that can leave people mentally struggling. The biggest example that comes to mind is the ever-growing and suffocating diet culture. Diet culture’s holiday presents consist of little to no self-confidence, eating disorders and an empty wallet. It is widely known that on Jan. 1, gyms become packed and many people purchase juicers and an abundance of celery. Corporations focused on products meant to promote weight loss feed off of the insecurity that comes from societal beauty standards and they use it to fill their wallets. While it is entirely possible to set a goal for the New Year having to do with working out, weight loss or eating a new way, take a moment to check that this goal is being set for the right reasons.

I have succeeded in completing many goals for myself, but New Year’s resolutions have never made the cut. One of the biggest reasons was that they were downright unrealistic. Setting a goal is a very small part of the process. Consider how to get there, what milestones to set, how to stay motivated, and make sure the end benefit of the goal is very clear so that there is a good reason to achieve it. If the proper prep steps aren’t taken, this half-thought-through goal will likely not make it out of January.

Setting a New Year’s resolution every December, at least for me, has always stemmed from the feeling of not being good enough. There is a big difference between not feeling good enough and feeling good enough to be better. I believe many goals that we set for ourselves are mostly from the pressure of what other people think and how their perceptions of us make us feel.

It is also possible to set a goal at any other time of year. I used to wait for Jan. 1 to roll around before I started a big project or new initiative. By the time I got there, my motivation had dwindled, and procrastinating on a goal is just never a productive way to spend time. All of that time was spent thinking about what I could be doing instead of doing it. Adding the wait time also meant that when I didn’t achieve the goal, I felt double the guilt.

My final quarrel with the New Year’s resolution is the never-ending death cycle that will be etched into the mind and once inside is very tricky to get out of. Let’s say Dec. 15 the goal is set, it isn’t well thought through and it probably has something to do with cutting every food that could possibly provide you any joy out of your diet. Jan. 1 you have forgotten to go to the grocery store, so next to nothing is eaten on the first day in order to stay within the confines of the newly dreaded diet. The next day grocery trip is planned, all the yucky foods are in the cart, and for the next four weeks, life is a little less fulfilling than it was with chocolate. Feb. 14 comes around with cupid’s cute little pink hearts and all of the little chocolate boxes that have five chocolate options that are not labeled and you only really like one of them, so you have to gamble your pick. This is when that diet doesn’t seem so fun anymore and by Feb. 28. all thought of that diet is out of the window. Some may dwell on their failure and others may completely forget about it. But, then December rolls around again and all of the guilt comes crashing back onto your shoulders, pushing you towards another stupid New Year’s Resolution.

I may be bitter about New Year’s resolutions, but that has not stopped me from growing and changing as a person. I believe myself to be very capable of achieving the goals I set for myself, I just know that Jan. 1 is not the best time for me to put them in motion. If my opinion has not swayed you in the slightest, I hope that you will at least take away the idea that goals are meant to enhance you as a person and not change you altogether. You do not need to fulfill someone else’s expectations, only your own.