Warning: Satire

There are many sports students pursue at Niles West, but we get caught up in the allure of doing a sport because they are fun and a great way to make friends. However, people have to keep in mind the dangers of many of those sports.

For starters, cross country is a very scary sport, even though you think you are just running for miles on end with no consequences, think again. You will be traversing some dangerous terrain, like mud, sticks and rocks. All of these can result in a broken ankle or an embarrassing fall.

Baseball and softball are another issue, the other team and even your own teammates are intentionally throwing the ball at you way too fast. Both of these sports have you slipping and sliding across the turf, which only leads to you getting turf burn or a rash.

A threatening sport that should have a warning sign when being asked to sign up is water polo. Water polo can either lead to drowning or pneumonia. People are trying to wrestle you into the water to score a point, and that leads to pneumonia because you can ingest a lot of water. Also, your arm can fall off, technically, because you are exerting the muscles of your arm. Another sport that goes hand in hand is swimming because you can literally drown in the water.

Wrestling is honestly illegal because it is scary, people are punching you left and right. Weightlifting is very dangerous as well because the weight can be too heavy and it can fall on you, and then you might choke from it. Also, you can pull a muscle because, again, the weight is too heavy, or you did it wrong because you don’t know how to weightlift properly.

Next, soccer can lead to many injuries, getting kicked in the shin is very painful, as many people have said. If you get hit in the head with your cleat, it can lead to brain trauma. It is very concerning if you get hit in the mouth because your tongue can go back into your throat, and you start losing oxygen and you start choking.

The four main sports that include balls are tennis, volleyball, bowling, and golf. Starting off with tennis, if you are playing doubles, your partner can hit you with their racket you can get concussed or bruised. No one likes to get bruised because then they are ugly. For volleyball, you can get a ball to the face when someone either serves at you or hits at you which results in a broken nose. However, you can get a free nose job with your insurance covering it, and who doesn’t want a free nose job? Breaking your foot is a main issue in bowling because a ball can get dropped on your foot because the other team wants to sabotage you from playing. Finally, whenever you are riding around in a golf cart, you can fall out of it, face first, or you can get hit with a club.

All in all, the main issue here is balls for most of these sports.  Sports are dangerous and you should watch out. Don’t join sports or accept the consequences.