When I turned on the TV for this years Academy Awards, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the outcome. The hosts, Anne Hathaway and James Franco, were less that impressive. Watching The King’s Speech win big award after big award was at first fun, but soon a bit of a bore. The dresses were pretty, and the tuxes were on, but to be honest there wasn’t much more to it.
The award for The Worst Hosting Job in My Lifetime goes to: Anne Hathaway and James Franco. The show started off with the hosts walking through each of the 10 films nominated for Best Picture cutting up important scenes to make mildly funny jokes. From there the hosts sort of became a non-event. Hathaway made all of the jokes— which were incredibly repetitive (lesbians and young demographic), but that was better than Franco who stood there looking stupid, and possibly drugged up, for basically the whole show. She stopped the show to sing a solo, which she claimed Hugh Jackman was supposed to accompany her in. The song was hardly funny; the only thing that made it worth it was Franco’s appearance in a bright pink dress–which wasn’t exactly a surprise seeing as Hathaway was in a tux. Neither of the hosts should have been picked for this job, and maybe they should just stick to acting. As the hosts did absolutely nothing else worth mentioning, I guess it’s time to move on.
The award for The Biggest Oscar Troll of All Time goes to……………… Kirk Douglas. Douglas managed to show up Hathaway and Franco by about a thousand percent, dragging on the announcement for best supporting actress for what felt like ages. He announced that it was his goal to make the awards run late, and proceeded to talk about anything and everything for about five minutes, putting the poor actresses into complete suspense. The 94 year old was hilariously awkward and completely memorable, and so was the actress he gave the award to. After Douglas announced Melissa Leo had won, she got up on stage and dropped the f-bomb, then ran away with the poor man’s cain.
The award for most awkward speech goes to: Colleen Atwood. She was the winner for best costume design for Alice in Wonderland, which could be an excuse for the use of notecards and the complete lack of emotion or eye contact, except she has won this award two times before already. At this point Atwood should know how to give a short speech for winning such a big award.
The award for The Most Awards goes to The King’s Speech and Inception. TKS received most of the big awards. From Best Director, to Best Actor in a Leading Role, to Best Original Screenplay, to finally Best Picture, TKS was winning everything. Inception also received four awards; for Cinematography, Visual Effects, Sound Mixing, and Sound Editing.
The award for Largest Ugly Beard goes to Christian Bale. Although Bale managed to give a lovely and touching speech when accepting the award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role his beard was beyond distracting. It was big and ugly and it didn’t even match his hair color. I certainly hope that it was for a role.
And finally: The award for The best auto-tuned mix goes to the Oscar Writers themselves. This year has been a good one for auto-tuned mixes, it all started with Antoine Dodson’s Hide Yo Kids, and the Academy managed to keep it up taking bits of Twilight, Harry Potter, Toy Story Three and The Social Network and making them into hilarious masterpieces. I must say that this was probably one of my favorite parts of the night. “He Doesn’t Own a Shirt” was completely hilarious, and “Tiny Ball of Light” is already my ring tone. At least the Oscars succeeded on one thing.
So how did the NWN do with our predictions you ask? Well, for the categories we guessed at we got 8 of 14 right. How did you do? And what did you think of the show?
