Opinion: Give Me a New Chromebook

Warning: Satire

After three grueling years of high school, hiding in the light of the all-glorious seniors, I have finally become one of them. However, I feel that the class of 2023 is not treated nearly as special as in years past. The freshmen, sophomores, and juniors should be attaining their education in terrible conditions in order to lend me the best possible. Seniors should arrive at school in golden carriages, they should only be expected to walk upon the red carpets laid out for them, and the underclassmen should make themselves scarce to ensure that the seniors aren’t bothered by their presence.

Although I would love to be waited upon by underclassmen, my biggest quarrel for West, as a senior, is the lack of technology available to me. The click-clack of my keyboard is significantly less cool than the smooth keys that every other grade’s Chromebooks have to offer.

Trust me, I have tried almost everything to get rid of this stupid Chromebook. I have “accidentally” chucked it down my stairs at home, resulting in more damage to the woodwork on the bottom step than to the Chromebook itself. It has somehow magically slipped out of my hands and landed on the floor on several occasions. There have also been various liquid substances dumped, spilled and poured onto its clicky-clacky keys. But, to no avail, I still have the lower-class Chromebook.

Sitting in the Niles West News classroom, I watch as our Managing Editor, Emma Schieffer, uses her fancy touch-screen Chromebook, which is fully bendable and has a stylus.  I do not feel superior in this situation, which in my very humble opinion, is a problem. I deserve more from the school to which I have given my blood, sweat and many tears, Especially because I am an entire school year ahead of Schieffer.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I have been privileged enough to only visit the tech office once in my almost four years at West. For my friends who are taking weekly visits to the tech office because their Chromebook’s screen likes to play hide and seek, or just hide in some cases, I stand with you.

The only positive aspect of having a Chromebook as durable as this one is I know it will always be here. I have written every essay and article on this Chromebook. The matte finish on the space bar is long worn off, the NWN sticker on the blank part of my keyboard is faded from its once vibrant red, my tears likely line the edges of its keys and the little camera at the top has watched me grow into the person I have become throughout these years.

Soon my Chromebook will be gone. I will graduate, and leave its clunky, dusty, and (I’ll admit) slightly sticky self behind. Yes, I am grateful for my high school experience, and yes, my Chromebook has been with me through all of it. But, that won’t stop me from attempting to throw it into the pool after water polo practice (don’t worry, I will wait for everyone to get out of the pool first). Or maybe I will steal Schieffer’s because she’s just a junior anyway.