Throughout high school and probably for most of my life I have been told that I am expected to do many things with my life. Since freshman year we are told what’s expected of us; we are told of the many expectations that teachers and parents have, as well as of expectations we should have of ourselves.

For me, and most of my fellow senior classmates, it is the first round of hearing back from colleges that we applied to. Many of us will be expecting some sort of a decision, and many of us will be getting dejected from a rejection we did not expect. This entire process made me realize that what we want is rarely what we get, and while this is a depressing thought, it gives rise to an important thing to remember: having expectations can be the cause of huge disappointments.

Before I say anything else, let me say that this is not going to be a discouraging column, so if you plan on stopping to read right now, I strongly advise you to read further.

Having expectations is normal and essential. We should never give up hope on others and we should never be completely regardless of what we may be able to accomplish. Expecting something however, is like being confident. Confidence is essential and probably one of the only ways to truly be happy with ourselves. But when the confidence goes over the top, it might turn around and hurt us. Similarly, expectations may do the same. Expecting too much is more often than not a disappointing experience, and failing people’s expectations is perhaps one of the worst feelings ever, and I am sure we all can relate to this fact.

In high school we are expected from more than we expect of ourselves. Whether it has to do with assignments, or if it has to do with test scores or college, we are in a constant pressure cooker of expectations, expectations that we may or may not fulfill. There is nothing wrong with failing to meet expectations, but it is also natural to feel upset about it.

The key is, don’t get too worked up about other’s expectations of you.

What matters more than anything else is what you expect of yourself. No matter what others have asked of you, no matter what others want you to do, what REALLY is important is what you want for yourself. Perhaps this is the most cliche statement ever, but you are your own best friend. And even when everyone leaves you, you will still have yourself, so yourself is the most important person to not disappoint.

So when it comes to high school, college, the future, and even the small daily decisions, before dwelling on what others want of you, think about yourself and what you want to do. People who really care about you won’t be upset that you didn’t fulfill one of their expectations; instead, they will be glad about you being happy. Of course, we should never hurt others intentionally. But if by worrying so much about what others will feel because of us, we end up hurting ourselves, then we are doing no good whatsoever. In such a vast world, in which we are on our own, self-content is most significant.

These last three and a half years of high school have taught me that the future is extremely significant, and we should think about where we want to see ourselves someday. However, it has also taught me that the future is an unknown world that, for the most part, we can create for ourselves. Expectations for ourselves gives us the boost, the strength, and the courage to fulfill our many goals. It’s an intrinsic motivation, doing something to make ourselves happy. But in the long run, this may turn out to be the best decision. Others expectations may do the same for us, but they can also be a cause for our discouragement, which is why we should first expect something of ourselves, and then think about what others want from us. Not everyone will always know, or even want, what’s best for you.