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The Student News Site of Niles West High School

Niles West News

The Student News Site of Niles West High School

Niles West News

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Doesn’t Anyone Remember the Golden Rule?

On the Day of Silence, a student wore this sign around school. Photo compliments of Josh Veliciu.

Yes, I’m pretty sure it started somewhere back in kindergarten when we were crying because we were excluded or because someone said something mean.  We would be upset or perhaps we made someone else upset, so our parents would remind us to “treat people the way you want to be treated.”  My question is: why hasn’t that lesson been carried to high school? And, better yet, at the times in our lives when we are given responsibility and freedom, why are we choosing now to skip the part of thinking about how our actions will affect other people?

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that someone needs to stand up and say that people need to start treating each other a little better with a lot more respect.  Niles West is a very diverse school with many different religions, cultures, ethnicities, and beliefs.  I don’t think that at a time when we are at a pretty crucial time in their lives, in terms of deciding what kind of person to become for the rest of their lives, that we should chose ignorance and bigotry.  It’s a shame to see that when Niles West offers so many opportunities, so many questions to be asked, and so many lessons to be learned that people would rather repetitively state their own beliefs and never listen to the other side.

I think what really made me realize some of this is what happened on the Day of Silence, particularly on Facebook.  A picture of senior Josh Veliciu wearing a sign stating, “Homosexuality is wrong,” was posted on Facebook and garnered more than 220 comments by Sunday night, some of which supported Veliciu and commended his “good job” along with others that called his actions and the reasons behind them into question.  The even more disturbing part?  It also had more than 55 likes as well.

Now, let me pause for just a second here to point out that I’m not writing this column to spark a debate about whether homosexuality is right vs. wrong or a lifestyle choice vs. how someone is born.  The problem that I had with this is that, to me, it looked an awful lot like bullying, yet people were standing behind his actions.

So, I sat down and talked with Josh Veliciu about why he made and wore that sign.  He made it very clear at the beginning of the interview that he wanted to clarify something.  “I’d like to first put this out that I do not hate homosexuals,” said Veliciu.  “I just want the school to know that I did not do it in any form of hazing or anything like that.”

Then, he explained what he did on the Day of Silence.

“I came to school wearing a sign that was on my chest that said, ‘homosexuality is wrong,'” said Veliciu.  “I was questioned by my first period teacher as into why I was wearing the sign, so she took me into the hall and asked me why I was wearing it.  I told her that just as the students have the right to participate something in that they believe in, I have the right to say what I believe in and what I think is right. And I know that their whole thing is against the bullying, but I was addressing a whole different issue.  While I was talking, a security guard came by and asked my teacher if there was a problem and my teacher was like ‘yeah, just have the deans approve of this first and see if it’s okay for him to wear,’ which I was a bit confused on.  So, I was taken down and my dean wasn’t there so the Dean’s Office said to take him to the principal to see if he was there; however, Mr. Osburn was not in his office, so I spoke to Mr. Griffin instead, the assistant principal.  We went over and we discussed that I have the right to freedom of speech and a right to freedom of religion and I believe that it was okay to be practiced in school.  What he didn’t find okay with my sign was that it was more of a distraction to school so he found it that me wearing the sign would distract the other students daily routine at school, and he went on in saying that he did ask me to take it off and I told him that I would take it off and handed it to him, but I told him that the Day of Silence can be in the same manner of distractions to students like myself.”

He admitted to making another sign with the same statement later in the day, which is the one the picture was taken of.

“To me, I don’t think that was in a form to judge anyone or to bully them in any manner, so I don’t feel that I did anything wrong in that manner.  I believe it’s the Biblical truth,” said Veliciu.  “I believe the GSA would take it in the form of bullying, so I went ahead and did it anyways. They would take it as a form of bullying. I don’t think it’s a form of bullying. I think that I was…putting out my own personal belief and opinion.”

As an editor-in-chief of a student publication, the concept of freedom of speech is hardly lost on me.  I understand that everyone has the right to voice their opinions (which is why I’m writing this), but I think that we all need to take a second to stop and think about what we’re saying and what the effects of our actions could be.  What we do affects other people, and regardless if we face repercussions from the administration or not, these actions affect the people around us.  To put it simply, we need to be more concious of our words and our actions; we need to “filter” what we’re saying and doing.

No one should feel like they’re going to be attacked or made fun of or excluded when they come to school.  The real world is tough enough, there’s no need for us to make each others’ lives more difficult than they might already be.

So, I went to talk to Dr. Kim Landini, our school psychologist, to see what she had to say about how these types of actions can affect the students and the climate of Niles West.

“I’d have to say, first-hand experience hearing these kids in [a group here at West], all of these types of things affect them very deeply.  Kids who have different identity issues are at higher risk for drop out or suicide,” said Landini.”I think any kinds of incidence of, well, this is just blatant bullying…These kinds of things certainly don’t help the climate of a building, but what does help is the kids who can make a committment to standing out against such hatred.”

I think that what Landini said was really important because bullying has become such a common aspect of high school nowadays that sometimes we don’t even realize that we’re doing it or that we’re witnessing it.  Everyone needs to be a little bit more aware of what they’re doing and how it affects other people.  Our actions do have consequences, even if they aren’t just repercussions against ourselves.

Landini proposed that students should open their eyes to other people’s perspective, and at a school as diverse as West.  I agree; I personally can’t see any reason why we shouldn’t.

“I think, being a psychologist, I believe that kids are good,” she said.  “I do not really believe that they are intending to hurt other people.  I think that if they really knew that they were that they wouldn’t, and that’s just a fundamental basis of what I believe.  I think kids can get caught up in the moment, just get caught up in a laugh or attention, wanting to appear cool in some respect, not realizing that what they’re doing is hurtful and damaging.  The advice I would have for him [Veliciu] is maybe some community service hours, you know, open one’s eyes to what maybe they don’t see in sometimes a very sheltered life.  Walk in their mocasins, you know?  I think everyone can think of a moment in their life where they felt put down or hurt in some way.  If they can get in touch with that, and [they can] realize that’s what they’re doing to other people.”

This kind of action would make West a much better place for every one.  I may be graduating in less than a month, but I hate to think that the place I’m leaving behind is a type where students are treating each other like this.  West shouldn’t be a place where students can be bullied and marginalized.  Freedom of Speech is great, but sometimes the way it’s used isn’t.

Principal Kaine Osburn agreed. He stated in an email, “It is wrong in a school setting. That is exclusionary language and action that is meant to marginalize members of our Niles West community. While I disagree with the sentiments on the placard [what Veliciu wore] in all circumstances, free speech is a right all people have, but schools are communities that must foster inclusion if learning and growth are to take place.”

As I scrolled through the comments that were posted underneath Veliciu’s photo, there were a few that stood out to me.  There were students trying to stand up to the fact that wearing a sign, while Veliciu had the right to do so, wasn’t really right.  They were the students that I associate with what Landini spoke to me about as the “upstanders” who stand up for those who are being bullied.  They faced a lot of name-calling and insults because they stood up for those being bullied, but, nonetheless, they stood their ground and tried to bring some perspective and reason into the argument.

Senior Benjamin Bard brought up that Freedom of Speech doesn’t translate to judging or dictating other people’s lives.

“Then how are you going to judge them and say what theyre doing is wrong, you may have freedom of speech but that doesnt mean youre right when you tell other people its wrong,” Bard wrote in a Facebook comment.

Niles West alumni Ned McElfresh‘s comment went along with Bard’s and also mentioned that everyone really needs to think about their words before they say, or write, them.

“Think about your words before you parade around the school. I took the time to look through this entire thread and I witnessed the perpetual spewing of ignorance hidden behind telling people that they don’t understand, or, they can’t relate, they’re not christian. No. That is not the case. The case is that you don’t understand the words you’re using, nor do you understand why you believe that homosexuality is wrong. If you did, you would be a hardcore dude, that thinks damn near everything that is fun, is also wrong.The scriptures are not the writings of Jesus. The new testament was composed by people who never met jesus. Sadly, Jesus didn’t write much down, but if he did, I imagine he would write to love everyone like you love yourself. But on this thread, all I see are a bunch of people too blind from loving themselves and their own ways to open their eyes and love others, regardless of their race, ideology, or sexual status. Also, by saying something is wrong, means your passing judgement, making it a sin because judgements can lead to good deeds, or sins. Unless there is a middle ground which i’m unaware of. But i digress, by passing judgement, you are putting yourself on god’s level, and being one of god’s followers, i don’t think he would petty himself and divulge a portion of his time to you, but he would sentence you straight to hell for trying to match him, andmaking yourself an idol. Think before you speak, and stop vomiting ignorance veiled by god’s teaching because Jesus preached kindness, and your statement is not kind at all,” said McElfresh in a Facebook comment.

Senior Zeia Amanoel also commented that the blind hatred, no matter what someone’s beliefs are, is unnecessary.

“Jesus preached love Thee, not hate. I agree with some of what Josh says, in a sense that he has a right to say whatever he wants and if he thinks that he can go right ahead. What I disagree with is the blind hate to those people some people on this status have attributed to them. I can care less about gay people, but I wouldn’t stop being friends with someone or not talk to them because they were gay.  Assuming everyone here is of Christian faith, we are all Gods children. All made in his image. Anyone tossing out blind hate at people should have a look at what they stand for exactly. It’s no better,” said Amanoel in a Facebook comment.

Senior Bobby Yarmahmoudi posted a comment that really called out Veliciu’s reasons behind his sign and provoked a lot of comments and thoughts as to why this action took place.

“Let’s make people spew their ideas, realize how irrational they are, then change. It’s not my style to back away from what has no rational basis. Btw, your sign should’ve written “Homosexuality makes me uncomfortable” not “Homosexuality is wrong”. Right and wrong are subjective labels that people use to label things that make comfortable or uncomfortable. If homosexuality makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself: WHY? Is it because you are insecure of you’re sexuality? Or you are too afraid to go against your religion, your family, or culture? Figure it out, because being against someone based on biology is stupid, and whether you or your immediate friends or family change or not doesn’t matter, humanity will realize this stupidity and grow, just like with slavery, nationalism, racism, etc. My motto to all you guys is: get your [explective deleted] together,” said  Yarmahmoudi in a Facebook comment.

*All students gave permission to publish their comments from Facebook, and the comments were left unedited.

 

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  • A

    AnonSep 17, 2014 at 8:04 PM

    Can we take this down? It’s old and irrelevant. Thanks.

    Reply
  • T

    The Truth HurtsMay 13, 2012 at 9:48 PM

    I hope everybody know that this article is just trying to be politically correct. Cause if one says that being homosexual is wrong, then that is “politically wrong” because we have to be friends with everyone. But if we say that Christianity is wrong then that is fine because of freedom of religion. But once Christians start saying that “homosexuality is wrong” because in their religion it is wrong to be homosexual, then everyone who supports homosexuality starts an uprising. Why can’t Christians tell the world what they believe in by using their freedom of speech, in the country so grand called the United States of America? Next, I would like to address the HUGE mistake you made by getting Jesus involved into this topic, especially at public school. McElfresh’s Facebook comment is totally wrong with the fact that one can’t say what kind of a sin somebody committed. Last time I checked the person who commits the sin decides if they committed a sin or not, and if they feel like they didn’t then the Lord(the Christian one) will judge them and decide if they deserve Hell, once they die. 1)By expressing your view on a topic like homosexuality, and saying that it is wrong is a judgment, and in Christianity that is defiantly not a sin, because all your doing is standing up for your religion. If I am wrong with this statement please tell me what is wrong with it and how? 2)As mentioned in the article Jesus does love everybody. It is the actions and mindset Jesus dislikes in certain people. Jesus loves everybody, but once certain people support homosexuality, he takes a step back, and reminds people about the beginning of the times with the first humans made. Jesus as many people know is part of the Holy Trinity, and in the beginning of times the Lord God created the world according to Christianity. In the book of Genesis 2:20-24, we see how the Lord God makes a women OUT OF THE RIB of Adam, a man, because the animals the Lord God created were not suitable partners for Adam. The creation of a woman from the rib of Adam is sacred for Christians, and this relationship between a women and a man is as sacred as well. This is why when we look into the Bill of Rights, Josh Veliciu used his freedom of Religion and Speech very intelligently. To me as a Christian, specifically a Roman Catholic I proudly praise, honor, and applaud Josh for his actions. Yes I do care about other people and their feelings, but apparently the teachings of Christianity mattered more to Josh and the teachings of Christianity matter more to me too. He in order to protect his faith said “Homosexuality is wrong” on the Day of Silence, and I would have done the same, and I will continue to show my opposition to homosexuality, because I believe that it is wrong. If you disagree, then stand up for yourself and back your opinion because then I would eventually see why you are right and why I am wrong.

    Reply
  • A

    A. W.May 11, 2012 at 7:02 PM

    Again, I don’t agree with what Josh did, I believe it was bullying and hurtful. No matter what people should be treated with respect. But, the comments on Josh’s pictures where extremely hurtful as well to me as a Christian. I’m not trying to say that Christians are persecuted more then others, but people seem to be fine with portraying them as ignorant, hypocritical, fools. Have you seen Easy A, or Glee? It makes me so sad that that is how they are being played in media today. And comments people have been making about how the Bible is not relevant and anyone who believes in it are narrow minded is hurtful. All I’m trying to say is that Christians also receive some prejudice. Furthermore, the golden rule we are talking about is FROM the Bible. We all have our own opinions of what is right and wrong, and when we stand up for what we believe it will always be a win lose situation.

    I am curious, has the NWN ever thought about doing a story about H2O? Or talk to teachers like Mr. Geu, Mr. Rusk, Mrs. Gogerty, or Mrs. Branahl about their faith? You’d probably hear some pretty incredible stories. Some of the most amazing people I’ve met are from my Church. It’s people like them that encourage me and help me see how good God is.

    Reply
  • J

    JackMay 10, 2012 at 11:52 PM

    Obviously, he has a legal right to wear this ridiculous sign and do whatever he wants. That doesn’t make it right. You don’t see people going around wearing “Christianity is Wrong” signs at school because that would not be acceptable at all. There are so many people at West who do not support the LGBT community, which is not fine. It’s ignorant. Basing your beliefs off of a 2,000 year old book (many of which has rules that we recognize are not applicable to modern life) is your choice, but it’s still narrow-minded. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality. And why are people acting like Christians are attacked for stating their beliefs…? Are you taking stupid pills? The majority of Americans are Christian, and though Christianity does not necessarily equal ignorant, people like this give good Christians who recognize that the real message of religion should not be preaching hatred towards your fellow man a bad name.

    Reply
    • A

      AnneMay 17, 2012 at 11:51 AM

      Look, I agree with you about homosexuality. Really, I do. I have stood up for it and gotten angry over bigotry more times than I can count. But please, don’t make this a one way street. Yes, homosexuals and members of the LGBTQ community are a vastly oppressed and abused group of people (I mean, they’re not allwed to get married in most states for God’s sake).

      But just because Christians make up the majority does not mean that they never have to be defended. It does not mean that they are never hurt by society either. Just look at what you say in your comment: “Basing your beliefs off of a 2,000 year old book (many of which has rules that we recognize are not applicable to modern life) is your choice, but it’s still narrow-minded.” The basis for Christianity IS the Bible, that is a centerpiece of their religion. Calling such a centric part of their religion narrow-minded IS hurtful to them. Even the “good Christians” you mention.

      The unfortunate and real circumstance is that some Christians are bullies and some LGBTQ people are bullies. It is not worth generalizing about which group has more (statistically you could argue Christians are more likely to be doing the bullying but what does it matter? It happens on both ends and that’s the important part). Rather, we need to defend everyone. Everybody has the right to live their life the way they want PROVIDED they do nothing to threaten another person’s sense of safety (and maybe that’s where Josh crossed the line here).

      Reply
  • M

    Matais MartinekMay 10, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    As a part of the LBGTQ community i do not like the fact that there is a day of silence. It gives people more chances to ridcule us and us not saying anything back. I was bullied every day and i felt so threatened i had to transfer schools. People tell me “Oh i did this for you!” no i can stick up for myself and so can the rest of us your just giving people that dislike anyone LBGTQ a day where they do not need to talk in class. If i was at West still for that day i would spoke my mind and been talkative to show that “yea im LBGTQ what about it” What that guy did was wrong but he is basing his opinion on relegion and how he was raised so he can speack his mind just like everyone else.
    Thank you.

    Reply
  • M

    Ms. ChandaranaMay 10, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    After reading all the responses, my heart goes out to each of us who care so much about finding Truth in Life. One Truth I have come to know only through experience is that people can only treat you as well as you treat yourself. So set the bar high, and treat yourself with Light and Love. This in itself is enough to change the whole world!

    Reply
  • A

    anonymousMay 9, 2012 at 2:59 PM

    Look you want to know how to prevent all of this from happening? Stop day of Silence. The intention is good but all it does is cause harm. Kids not talking in class is a much bigger distraction to classes than kids with signs on their chest stating what they believe. If you are going to acknowledge homosexuals and how its a positive thing not everyone is going to agree with that. And it is ridiculous that this student is being ridiculed for doing what he did. If that sign said “homosexuality was right” instead of the other way around people would be calling him brave. But if he says its wrong and voices his opinion he’s looked at as an [expletive deleted] and thats ridiculous. The school brought this upon themselves with day of silence and they should discontinue the day before worse things occur. Its bad enough i have to write this anonymously to avoid trouble for speaking my mind.

    Reply
  • A

    anonymousMay 7, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    As a graduate of Niles West and a First Year Student at Lake Forest College. both schools are very diverse. I greatly appreciate it. That is one reason why I chose to go to LFC. As a sociology minor and a history major, I agree with the writer. In general, people should not be ethocentric meaning that they must look at cultures by not judging them through their own. The reason why people have a different sexual orientation is biology related. You cannot control it! To see this sign, it really is disrespectful. People ought to appreciate the others around them. For example, in the real world, you must be careful what you say and do because people will not like it. Also, as a history major, Jesus loved everyone. I do not think he would care if you were of a different sexual orientation. Indeed, his teachings were oral and others wrote them down into scripture after his death. As an ally of friends who are of a different sexual orientation, this should not be allowed at Niles West. I think it would be very intimidating to see that sign and I would be worried about my friends’ well-being. We must keep their self-esteem high or they will become depressed.

    Also, I do not find all high schoolers particularly mature enough to understand sexual orientation because they take it as a joke. Also, they do not have a breadth of views on the issue until college. For instance, some students only have one view only from their family and that is the hatred of others.

    In particular on the Day of Silence, I read that article too. Students are not mature enough to take the day seriously. I partook in the Day of Silence because I cared. Students should not be participating in the Day of Silence just to get out of a test. Grades count towards your success in college. If they participate, they need to care enough about the issue. I am pretty sure that those I know who support the cause at LFC, NW, and the other high schools and colleges would be hurt from hearing this. I hope that Niles West can do something to solve these problems because I do not want to hear any hatred whatsoever. In fact, maybe I bring up the Day of Silence to my friends at LFC who are part of LBGTQ community because it is a great cause. However, it cannot be ruined by those who do not understand the meaning of being silent.

    Reply
  • A

    AnneMay 7, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    I don’t know if I can really say definitively if what he did was wrong or right. I do believe you should have the right to stand up for your beliefs, and he didn’t go out of his way to make that sign blatantly offensive; I hope we can all agree that the sign could have said much worse things than a simple “Homosexuality is wrong.” The sign could have included horribly offensive slurs, the wording could have been more offensive in so many ways. But instead, Josh at least kept the sign simple: a simple statement of his beliefs.

    However, I do believe there is a double standard. Liberal media is so quick to defend homosexuals from persecution, at the expense of creating an environment where it’s okay to call Christians stupid, and stereotype Christianity as the source of all bigotry. This is not the case. Plenty of people manage to reconcile Christianity with acceptance of homosexuality, like Ned McElfresh in his comment. Members or allies of the LGBTQ community should not demand respect without returning the favor; you have to be understanding about other peoples’ beliefs (religious or otherwise) as well.

    And Josh does have at least one valid point, the Day of Silence can make students who were taught to believe that homosexuality is wrong uncomfortable. Just as Josh wearing that sign made students of the LGBTQ community uncomfortable, the Day of Silence, rainbow badges/ribbons, and all the like can be equally disturbing to a student such as Josh. Where do we draw the line then? I don’t really have an answer myself.

    Either way, Josh wearing that sign on the Day of Silence certainly makes it seem more like an attack than a simple statement of beliefs. So, again, I don’t know.

    Reply
    • A

      A. W.May 8, 2012 at 4:18 PM

      That was very well put. I have to say I agree with what you said. People forget that in standing up for what they believe it, they might be offending someone else. It’s a win lose situation. But as Anne said, right now people are quick to defend Homosexuality and have no problem hurting Christians.

      Reply
  • N

    NameMay 7, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    A note to the writer:
    What Josh did has nothing to do with treating people the way he would want to be treated. If you have beliefs, you stand up for them. Plain and simple. However, as you are just an amateur writer, I can completely understand how you made this mistake. I only ask that you improve on your skills to report news. Thank you.

    Reply
    • C

      Colene GibsonMay 7, 2012 at 1:39 PM

      Name,

      First of all, if you read past the introduction, you would see that I said that he has the right to say whatever he wants, but that I felt the way he did so wasn’t the best way. I even wrote, “Freedom of Speech is great, but sometimes the way it’s used isn’t,” in bold letters to emphasize that fact. Plus, even the school’s licensed psychologist said that it was “blatant bullying.”

      Second, this is not a news piece, it is a well-researched column. A news piece would not have an opinion in it, it would be writted from an un-biased perspective, but this is clearly a blog and it is even categorized as one at the top of the story.

      Also, there is no reason for you to call my writing or reporting out because, given that this is a column, I didn’t even need to speak with Josh or include his opinion, but I did. The main purpose of this column is that I wanted people to realize that their actions have consequences, so they should consider how they would feel if something that they are doing was done to them. For that reason, I brought up the golden rule.

      And the final thing I would like to point out to you is that I wrote this piece because I wanted to stand up for the fact that I believe bullying and treating our peers poorly is wrong. I wrote and published this piece with my name on the byline, rather than hiding behind the title “name” with a fake email address. Next time you feel the need to attempt to insult someone, please have the courage to at least state your name or use a legimate email address. Or, of course, you could just read the entire article to avoid embarassing yourself with ignorant comments.

      Thanks.

      Reply
      • A

        Athena E. HilentzarisMay 11, 2012 at 9:27 AM

        We should have like buttons for comments.

        Reply
  • A

    A. W.May 5, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    I have to say that I read some of the comments on facebook about this picture, and I have very mixed feelings. I do believe that Josh handled the situation very poorly, but as a Christian I was offended what people had to say to him. It felt like people took this as an opportunity to bash on Christians. I don’t believe that that was everyone’s intention but sometimes I feel like there is a double standard. People where calling him out on bullying others, which is fine, but no had anything respectful or anything constructive to say to him. I am not defending Josh what so ever, but I think the comments people made where bullying him and other comments where disrespectful to Christians. So if we are going to be considerate to everyone and show respect, people need to reconsider how they handled the situation with Josh’s post.

    Reply
  • J

    JackMay 4, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    When i saw this picture on Facebook and all the supportive comments and likes it got, I wanted to cry. The fact that anyone would wear a sign like this is just horrifying. All of the recent articles about LGBT issues that have been posted on the NWN are great, as it is a very pertinent topic, but I was under the impression that things were “getting better.” Guess not. Ignorance is just as prevalent as ever… This is just disgusting.

    Reply
  • B

    B.A.TMay 4, 2012 at 1:00 PM

    High School is so hard. We all have to deal with so much: making friends, keeping up with school, fitting in with the trends, and living our personal lives. It does not need to be any harder with people discriminating against others. Haven’t we learned anything from the events that have happened in the world? Teens who just can’t take the bullying and pain open fire in their schools or kill themselves. Innocent lives taken because of some words said. High School is a hard 4 years, it doesn’t need to be any harder.

    Also, as my friend would say “It’s my body, and I will do what I want to it”. You want to be heterosexual? Then be heterosexual. If you want to be homosexual, then be homosexual. The decision ether way does not effect you in anyway. I’ve seen the facebook post on facebook. If you believe they will go to hell….well it’s their life, their body, their soul, not yours.

    High School isn’t suppose to be harder than it’s suppose to be.

    Reply
  • M

    Ms. ChandaranaMay 4, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    Thank you for bringing light on the issue of responsibility in our speech and actions. School is a safe zone for all who enter, and I am grateful that we continue to defend that status!

    Reply